Valentine's Day and Indian tradition - The broken link
Shikha Garg , Meerut/Delhi: Aug 19 2009
Made Popular Aug 20 2009
India :

Valentine's Day and Indian tradition - The broken link

I don’t want to hurt anyone’s sentiments nor I am here to judge what is right and wrong but this is really something that I wanted to talk about or rather question from everyone’s point of view. We in India, I feel, have almost split mindset regarding some set of things. I was just sitting with my friends in the hostel after she returned from Mathura Vrindavan trip wherein I noticed two major things in all of her talks. One was the ‘prasada’ that is distributed to the masses after ‘bhog’ by God which depends on the amount of ‘chadava’ or ‘shradhha’ you have for Him. And the other is - Well I am going to talk about it here.

We, in India, have strong notion of preserving our social culture and this is something in which we take proud. But while talking about Radha-Krishna, I was carried over by one thought that how double minded we are as in when it comes to worshiping. We will do everything to please God Radha-Krishna so that they shower us with their blessings (money, fame and name). But on the other side we even want to become moral police and would do anything to preserve our ‘so-called-Indian-Culture’.

Almost everyday a newspaper is filled with loads of news wherein a girl or a boy is socially beaten, is molested, sometimes killed and even are persuaded to go through a lot of things that we can’t even think (Sorry, we know what all is done to them). These are the people who would have the idols of Indian love God at their home but would not respect the same love blooming in their children.

I really don’t know why there are two shades in the same life of a person. We would enchant every kind of mantras to please God, we even have respect for Meera who was deeply in love with Lord Krishna but when it comes to our daughters, brothers, sisters and sons, it is a big no-no in rural Indian society and most of the time even in urban society.

If we are so much particular about our culture we should have started worshiping God Krishna-Rukmini who was ideally his wife. So great was Radha’s love for Krishna that even today her name is uttered whenever Krishna is referred to, and Krishna worship is though to be incomplete without the deification of Radha.

People might now raise a question or would be of opinion that the times have changed since then. There is a big difference in the love of those times and now. I certainly agree but it absolutely does not mean that you would harass them or thrash them until they are found in socially unacceptable behaviour.

Things today have changed and there is a great deal of change in the way we think and perceive love but I think it should all remain in our hands. There is no point of disregarding love all together in the manner of burning shops carrying cards with love messages and gifts on Valentine’s Day by the so called moral police and ’samaj ke thekedaars’ or the people who say that it is against Indian tradition. Every one knows that it is very natural to try to do that one thing or two which we are always being lectured upon!

Because if it is so than I would request all those samaj ke thekedaars to ban all the foreign things from branded clothes to MNC’s providing jobs to millions of Indians and from a pen to BMW as they are all foreign to us. And than we should also stop thinking of developing and competing with the other countries of the world.

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2 Stars
Chintan
Ambala, India
So u want all the vulgarity to be open on the streets in the name of Radha-Kishan love? Comparing gods to the youth of today is total nonsense.
1 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
Chintan,

I have already mentioned in my article that until and unless the youth of today is found in socially unacceptable behaviuor, there’s no point of thrashing them. My queston here why this thrashing and beating is surrounded on particularly ’it’ day? Why all of a sudden everyone thinks of their responsibility on Valentine’s Day? There are other 364 days as well. And above all we can’t be cruel in name of preserving our culture and tradition. A child brought up in a rich ’sanskaar’ would never act in something like this in public.

Secondly, I have never ever compared god and youth. Its about love and love is true, pure, innocent and eternal. That was the God’s love for Radha and this is what most of the youth feel today. Sadly its the media again who has so badly commercialized love that its difficult for anyone like you to believe in it. But can you explain that whatevers is hown in most of serials today as the family members like mom conspiring against her own daughter , is the real mirror of every household.

The world is is full of different shades of people and I think that we need to stop viewing them from a single lens and be judgemental.

Lastly, I feel sometimes it is good to talk about our own hypocrisy.
1 Stars
Chinky
Islamabad, Pakistan
Talk about celebrating Valentine's day here and see what happens after that.

We are not advanced as west to walk openly with our lovers on the streets.
1 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
Hi Chinky,

As u say, talking about Love is in itself a tabboo than we can surely not think of celebrating Valentine’s Day openly.
1 Stars
Anamika
Mumbai, India
A ver delight full n encouraging topic and must congrats u to give such a clearance in such a beautiful manner.
Lastly was gd written n explained.
1 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
Thank you Annu for your kind words.
0 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
Thank you Annu for your kind words.
1 Stars
Rajagopalan S
Trichy, India
Shikha, I am in complete agreement with you. Love and romance are the key factors that unite male and female races with the knots of devine bond. In my grandfatherly days, when romance was considered a taboo as well as scandalous, the walked away generations had no options but the night dreams to romance with their sweethearts. The modern era has kicked open the handful of opportunities such as this to renew the love and have fun.

Calling this westernism is incorrect.
We have our own culture, but to say only western culture talks about sex and physical matters is not right at all. Remember, Victorian England was prudish to an extreme, while we had scholarly and artistic works celebrating the physical for ages before that…Example: Kamasutra, Khajuraho, etc. These were Indian works, without a trace of ‘western influence’.

I think to reignite the flames of passion, and the desire to increase the sexual sparks, we need to have more of Valentines Day celebrations!
1 Stars
Mercy
Gensan, Philippines
I made it here Raja..thanks...C”)
(Global Perspectives)
1 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
Rajagopalan,

I agree with you that calling love as impact of weternism is incorrect but Love has more to do with the true feelings of heart rather than sexual attraction. Love isn’t about physical lure as most of the tv programs feeds us. As usually portrayed in media, most of the people in love don’t always feel singing songs around each other in a naturally beautiful environment. It has more to do with the adernaline flush that moves in the body when you see that person. It’s about seeing other’s flaws and still loving them. Physical attraction withers away in time.

It is more important to have this feeling throughout rather than celebrating love on a particular day. What I talked about here is harassing the people in love on the ’it’ day and regarding it against Indian culture.
1 Stars
Mercy
Gensan, Philippines
Shikha,

I do agree on you both. You have your own point of view. With your ,two, ideas, i can say that attitude matters a lot the way we think and the way we feel. If we have much regard with our feelings, bad or good, we have to voice them out. But, you have to suffer the consequences of your own doings. It is not also in culture, who evers’ culture...we always go back to our culture which is only in our mind..it only suppresses what we are really as a person, as a human. If we only respect others....broaden our thinking and won’t stick to our cultures...we will have peace inside and out...if we are just happy for others we will be happy also...
1 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
Thanks Mercy. I completely agree with you :)
1 Stars
Mercy
Gensan, Philippines
Welcome Shikha..

This is my first time to comment on blogs.....am still observing you all here how you do it and make comments...

thanks and nice to meet you here...C”)
1 Stars
Mercy
Gensan, Philippines
Welcome Shikha..

This is my first time to comment on blogs.....am still observing you all here how you do it and make comments...

thanks and nice to meet you here...C”)
1 Stars
Rajagopalan S
Trichy, India
Shikha, I am speechless after reading your note on definition of love.

You made it black and white...

Thank you.
1 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
Thank you SRG for your kind words. i am really obliged.
1 Stars
Leena
Kolkata, India
This is a beautiful connection of the ancient and the modern Shikha. You’ve said it extremely ell. However, I feel the purity of love as it existed between Radha/Meera and Krishna was different. Mythology says that Krishna was celibate even though there were a lot of gopies around him. They were actually rishis and the relationship was of the highest level of purity,. do you think our modern generation has that ? Have they understood love the way it should be ? How many of us love each other selflessly?

But I do agree with whatever you’ve said about the moral police. Their behavior is utterly disgraceful.
1 Stars
Aneez
Mumbai, India
Wonderful!!

I would like to add a bit of clarification to one of the points that you have mentioned..

People might now raise a question or would be of opinion that the times have changed since then. There is a big difference in the love of those times and now.

Of course, this is the first question these fools raise whenever someone tries to show them that what they treat bad is not that bad after all. But here also they are just displaying their hypocrisy. They are ready to adopt modern methods to please and ”protect” Gods in temples - using loudspeakers to address devotees, using automated teller system to count the offerings, using surveillance cameras to enhance security and so on - but they aren’t ready to accept the changed, or rather evolved version of love.

If Krishna’s ”raas leela” creates no problem for them, then they have no right to point their fingers towards ”any modern day couple engaged in romantic act” or to label them as vulgar.

They need to make out the difference between love and lust before pronouncing any act as vulgar.

Nice article Shikha, keep it up!
1 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
File Type: Video
Thank you Aneez and Leena for agreeing with me.

I agree that there are many people today who have lost their love as of breach of trust or being fooled. The ratio will definitely vary if we compare today’s worldly love with that of Krishna’s era. However I think as all fingers are not same in our hand, similarly neither a person or love can be. I am quotting an example through a video which will perfectly showcase that if you are in love, you just are. I would again say that love is far beyond what media has been portraying since long.

there might be many cases like as shown in the video,
1 Stars
ARVIND K.PANDEY
PRAYAG, India
Well,it’s a fine article.Well,for all conscious individuals Khujraho or Valentine’s Day offer no problem.They can imbibe negativism and yet remain pure and innocent.

But we are living in world where majority is in tune with absurdities of all sorts.Justifying all our wrong actions merely in the name of traditions has become order of the day.Even U.S. when it attacks the smaller nation calls it restoration of human rights !!

Some of us who are so interested in following the footsteps of Krishna(read Raaslila) are the ones nowhere in sight when asked to follow the footsteps of Rama!!Too easy to become like Krishna but too difficult to upheld the ”Maryaada” of Rama.The truth is that it’s not that easy to replicate the love of Radha and Krishna or,for that matter,acts of Krishna because you need to be at higher plane of consciousness.It’s another thing that you can enter in crude activities all in the name of love!!

I agree with Leena when she asks ”Have they understood love the way it should be ? How many of us love each other selflessly? ”

However,it does not at all mean that I am advocating curbing rights of person to make choices nor I am interested in anything like ”moral policing”.I am only talking about honuring the fine line that divides decency and indecency.

Here is a link.It’s not linked with the theme but it does tell what’s happening around us.You just can’t ignore the changes.And ,therefore,should think twice before aping any pattern of thought.

http://nathaniel74.instablogs.com/entry/teens-in-uk-among-worlds-worst-for-drinking-smoking-teenage-pregnancy/#comment-629329
2 Stars
Shikha Garg
Meerut/Delhi, India
I agree with you Arvind when you say ”You just can’t ignore the changes”

The essence of the article was same. When situations and people cross the fine line between decency and indecency or for that matter impose restrictions owing to a school of thought is completely not agreed.

But for this many people ill have to join hands together and we can say positively...changes are there..
1 Stars
Marilyn G
Bangalore, India, India
This is a beautiful article. I am continually shocked to see the headlines of honour killings of young couples.
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